Monday, August 16, 2010

The True Breakdown of the Family

Well its another beautiful Monday, and as such, here I am back at the computer. The above video shows one of the main reasons why those who are anti-gay marriage are so adamant about denying marriage equality; because they are afraid that their children will be taught about gay marriage from their teachers in the public schools. There are many arguments that are out there on this "children in school" argument, such as that the parents think that gays and lesbians are somehow inferior to heterosexuals or that same-sex unions themselves are inferior to heterosexual unions - yet I believe that these arguments don't see the bigger picture involved. The animosity of the parents that gay activists want to point out, is not the "real issue", yet we focus on that because we like to address particulars rather than overall trends. Today, I am going to attempt to do the latter. For I don't see the parents having only animosity or bigotry towards LGBT people, though it is a part of it. Instead, I see in this issue a great "tell" so to speak, of the parents view of both themselves and the State in their children's lives.

To boil it down in one sentence. Parents do not want their children to be taught about gay marriage in school because they believe that the state should take the parents role in instructing the parents view of morality.

Todays family system, as many psychologists, sociologists, and anthropologists have claimed, is in a state of decay. Traditional family structures are disappearing - not because of outside influences, such as the gay community - but instead because of influences within the family unit itself. Families do not spend adequate time with one another because they they don't have said time. There is work, social activities, extracurriculars etc. that clamor for the attention of the family unit. This internal lack of communication and time spent is what leads to the breakdown of the family, for if the parents are too busy to spend time with their children, there will naturally be a lack of intimacy and communication between them. What little time that the family's do have with each other is now spent asking how each others day went - not discussions on the parental views of morality.

It is because of this lack of time and commitment that the parents have towards their children; the rise in our culture of having both parents working, or an increase in daycare usage - not disparaging either mind you - that we see the mentality of the parent take shape. Because they themselves have such little time to invest in their child, they expect and demand that those whom they shuffle their children off to - ministers, daycare workers, coaches, and teachers - must instruct their children in the "correct" view, aka the parents view,  of morality.

School is no longer about teaching the three "r's"; instead it is about instructing children in morality and ethics. Parents have gone along with this concept for years, because to them it is easy; the state is not teaching anything that the parents disagree with, so there is no reason to make a fuss. Yet when an issue such as gay marriage comes in, a subject upon which parents do have deeply seated beliefs, they cry foul, claiming as the ones above that homosexuality and gay marriage should not be taught until much later. Yet where was the outcry when the son came home and told him mom that they learned about heterosexual marriage that day? There was none - because the parent was "comfortable" with this aspect of the state taking on the "moral teaching" role of the parent.

As we all know, times and cultures change. What was morally acceptable for one generation might not be for the next. As we progress in our understanding of such things as human sexuality, we can see that the negativity towards the homosexual community has been undeserved. As society recognizes this, the government will then obviously teach in the school system an "updated" if you will version of ethics and morality. They will do this because for years no one has objected to these types of discussions; and personally, I believe that if  parents, like the ones in the video, do object,. they have no recourse to complain. Parents have been taking advantage of the system for years, to allow them a free pass now, no matter if they like it or not, is the epitome of hypocrisy. Here is my philosophy, if your child should be "protected" from progressive views of morality, then put your money where your mouth is and either homeschool - which requires alot of time or energy - or put your kid in private school.


  1. I think your argument is wonderful.

  2. As a parent with children in school, I don't think schools teach ENOUGH acceptance of gay marriage. I should make a rage-filled TV advertisement warning about how the teachers are telling our kids that heterosexuals are superior.

  3. Well thought out and worded conclusion. I get tired of hearing the same old rhetoric from the anti-gays but it is also rare that some one who supports my side of life takes the time and effort to dissect the errors and flaws in the "conservative" reasoning.

    I really enjoy reading your work. I always come away with something new, or a peace of mind that maybe someone else out there sees things in a like manner.



  4. Also wanted to add...what about the gay children in school? I grew up in a private school that really took a strong stand against homosexuality as a "mandate" from God. They believed and also taught me from a young age that my very existence was an affront to Him and "sinful". Based on my orientation I was going to Hell and had no hope of a future.

    Needless to say, it was pretty damaging and I had to live out my life always hiding. I dated the same amazing guy for 8 years, but he was always relegated to a "friend" while the hetero's were completely free to express themselves and their relationships in peace and blessing.

    I have grown past all of it, but my school memories, while they are great in some ways, will always be marred by the hate and cloud that hung over me. I think children should be protected from the very ones trying to protect them. What a price we pay.

    Teaching young humans about what humans are and do is never wrong or immoral in my humble opinion. Sharing this disturbing video with friends and family tonight.


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