Friday, July 16, 2010

San Fransisco Relationships

A recent report in the San Fransisco Chronicle gives these statistics on gay monogamy and sexual fidelity.
"In her study of gay couples, 47 percent reported open relationships. Forty-five percent were monogamous, and the remaining 8 percent disagreed about what they were"
Of course, our delightful friends on the right are overjoyed by this, stating that this is another reason why gay couples should not be allowed to have marriage rights,  because instead of saying "I do" and meaning it, the couples instead say something like "I do - except for this, this, and this".

NOM actual words go beyond this, saying that not only are gay couples wanting to "redifine" marriage but area also wanting to "redifine" monogamy and fidelity...

Why stop at the word marriage? Other words can be redefined as well.  Take "monogamy"and "fidelity."  They call them "San Francisco relationships," as the SF Chronicle is proudly reporting on the release of a new study of over 500 couples. The study, by Colleen Hoff, shows that the majority of gay couples are not monogamous and that "planned infidelity" was good for their relationships -- including marital ones, according to the Chronicle.
What is interesting, is that NOM does not give the infidelity statistics of heterosexual couples...which can be found here
 It is estimated that roughly 30 to 60% of all married individuals (in the United States) will engage in infidelity at some point during their marriage (see, Buss and Shackelford for review of this research). And these numbers are probably on the conservative side, when you consider that close to half of all marriages end in divorce (people are more likely to stray as relationships fall apart).
If you look at the both statistics, then you see that infidelity and non-monogamy are not unique to homosexual relationships, and instead are very common among both types of relationships. If you think about it realistically though, maybe the gay couples have a leg up on the heterosexual ones, because according to the same survey...
Sexual agreements are a healthy trend amongst gay couples according to a new study published in the journal AIDS Care on July 15.
The researchers found gay couples tend to set ground rules concerning sex with others and the act of the 'agreement' itself is about strengthening relationships rather than preventing HIV.
Please realize I am in no way advocating non-monogamy or infidelity. What I am saying is that to use this recent study, a study that has comparable statistics to heterosexual couples, combined with the openness and honesty that is involved in "open" homosexual relationships, I can probably safeley say that gays are more in tune with how relationships should work than our heterosexual counterparts. No matter what NOM might claim.

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